What I know.

"Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave it with regret? There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

I recently attended several lectures regarding writing within the entertainment industry. The advice was well and good. Over the years I've attended many such discussion panels and nearly all of them included the same bit of advice: "Write what you know".  This often came up in my old writing group as well.

So what do I know? I could speak of with some authority include music, a smattering of philosophy, and various other subjects I have spent time with in my life. Still, what is it that I know best? What overall theme do I really have a grasp on?

Death. Loss. Anger.

I couldn't write comedy, I'm not very funny. What I know is the lifelong pain of loss. What I know is the life long rise of anger that poisons. I know hatred of alcohol. I know hatred of those who abuse people and substances. What I carry with me every day is the fear of who dies next? The self ridicule of how ridiculous my fears are sounds daily in my imagination. I am not the only one to lose loved ones. Who am I to indulge such drama and loathing? 

What I know is a dark place to enter to tell a story, a place I hesitate to wander. I know a life of coming to terms with death.



What I know scares me.

-Restless Regards

Fire Flies.

Some nights inspiration dances about like fire flies; bright and random. If only it were as easy to catch with the mason jars I so often employed in my youth!

-Restless Regards

Mirror, Mirror

If tomorrow, I were to die, these words would confuse you. Perhaps you never knew me? What does it all mean? Was he disturbed?

Yes I was. I was disturbed by the nature of men and women, yet I was not crazy. You too should be disturbed. You should be saddened by the things you see.

There is great joy to be known by all. You should expect more from people. I have known great happiness and great pain. I have written of both, yet the pain required more words to heal.

What would they say of you if you were gone?

-Restless Regards

Wicked

"Therefore the wicked shall not rise again in judgment: nor sinners in the council of the just."

Every so often, I am overwhelmed by the darkness of the world, and the pain carelessly inflicted between us all for selfish means. Perhaps it would disturb me less if I could see remorse, but I see only apathy. The burden of their darkness weighs heavy on so few souls. Relieved of affliction, the status quo seem all too happy to go about their day, creating new ways to hurt and deceive.

Could they ever understand? I wonder.

-Restless Regards

Decisions, Poor and Decadent...

For the greater part of my life I have followed my instincts, held true to my integrity, and gained insight from ethical introspect. These choices have not been easy nor have they been without criticism. Since I was very young I have journeyed with my head down and my commitment to what I have felt right and good fiercely guarded.  I have taken whatever path I could, traveled or otherwise. It is only now as I take rest to look around that I see so very few along side me. I am so very grateful for their company.

Keep the faith my friends. The sheep of the world may mock you, but you are stones of truth they shall never upturn.

-Restless Regards.

Always outnumbered.

I am one who is very lucky to call such loyal and upstanding people as I know, friends. Each one would gladly be there for me in my most desperate hour. Yet it is without them I must fight the most difficult battles within my own heart and mind, outnumbered by sorrows and fears. In desperation I reach out for comfort, yet tonight there is no one.  Very well. Let it be war upon you, my darkest thoughts. I will burn the ground you walk upon until sleep comes for us both. Tomorrow I will smile to spite you.

Fire Escape

Change seems only to present itself when one least expects it or needs it least. Tonight once more the walls around me feel like a prison. No matter where I go they haunt me. There is a discontent demon tugging at my heart and beating drums within my mind.

Images of past romance knock upon the door while the hope of future love is distant and isolated. I am in desperate need of a fire escape into the imagination, one that would cause such distraction my heart could find rest.

Where to now?

-Restless Regards